After growing up in poverty and struggling with a difficult home life, it wasn’t until Carina was under a ‘Child in Need Protection Plan’ that she experienced the joy of Christmas and was able to open a Christmas present for the first time.
Now she has delivered two bags full of presents to Cygnet Maple House, a Cygnet Health Care mental health hospital for women in East Bridgford, for staff there to donate the gifts to various local charities.
She has also donated gifts directly to From the Heart, a local charity which provides hope and support to vulnerable children and young people in the Bassetlaw District of North Nottinghamshire.
The 29-year-old from Worksop explained: “This time of the year is always harder for me and I have struggled with Christmas from lasting traumas as a child. I grew up in poverty and was under a ‘Child in Need Protection Plan’.
“I felt very different to other children and this had an impact on everything and has continued to up to the age I am now.
“I know what it feels like to wake up on Christmas morning to nothing and to feel really insignificant. I want to protect other children from having that feeling.
“When I went onto the Protection Plan, I was donated gifts for Christmas and this made me feel a little less alone in a time of extreme poverty and an environment that was not nice for anyone, let alone a child.
“Now I am in a position to help others and the cost of presents is a small price for the happiness it brings.
“I want to heal that inner child in me.”
Growing up with two younger siblings, Carina felt a great responsibility towards them and would save up pennies throughout the year to be able to buy them a small gift for Christmas. But it wasn’t until she was under the Child Protection Plan that she was given her first Christmas present.
“My first gift was when I was 11, it was some toiletries and it was the best gift I’d ever gotten,” she explained.
“It gave me some faith back that somebody out there must care about me. It wasn’t much but one gift was better than nothing and it still made me so happy.”
Her experiences as a child left a lasting impact and Carina is a former patient at Cygnet Hospital Hexham, a 27-bed mental health facility for women with complex mental health needs. She was admitted onto Franklin Ward, a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit, after making a serious attempt on her life.
She was discharged last summer and now works across Cygnet hospitals as an Expert by Experience, somebody who helps ensure the opinions of service users are heard and considered across the organisation and that feedback is actioned upon to improve Cygnet Health Care services.
Carina spent last Christmas in hospital and said this is the first year she is looking forward to the festive period at home, which she shares with her partner Jessie and their four dogs.
“Up until I was 11, Christmas had always been just any other day. I was never even wished a Merry Christmas, there wouldn’t be any excitement around the day. Finally having a present on Christmas Day completely changed my outlook.
“I no longer felt so alone and it made a massive difference. It’s my time to give back now.”
The gifts Carina bought include toiletries, perfumes, clothes, toys, crafts, sensory items and blankets.
She has also donated food items to local food banks, further helping those in need.
“I’m finally excited about Christmas and a large part of that is knowing I’m making a difference to others,” she added.
“It does make me feel better, in some ways it repairs the past for me. I was bitter for a long time, thinking about what I missed out on and having no positive experiences at Christmas.
“Now I’ve realised I don’t need to be upset. I don’t need to be sad. I’m doing things now which have a positive impact. I am a more human-centred person because of what I experienced and I like to think I’m bringing support, comfort and joy to people who are even less fortunate.”